My, my, my .. do we have to talk. Before I say anything, I want to tell you that I am so proud of where you are and where you are going. And I want you to be bold enough to choose you over everything. A lot of things you will go through is simply because of that one detail. Please, choose you, and feel no guilt about doing so. It’s so much better than enduring the constant heartbreak and disappointment you’d encounter if you don’t.
Embrace that sense of otherness you are feeling. It is the blueprint of where your journey is about to take you. How our father treats you is a reflection of his trauma, not your lacking in any part of you. Do not internalize your parents’ relationship as the goal for yours. This is not normal and a healthier and happier form of love does exist.
You know exactly what you want to do career wise, don’t let anyone try to steer you differently. Light skin and long hair is not the standard. Thick hair is beautiful. Thick, curly hair is empowering. Try nurturing that more instead of hiding it. 22 year-old Ny will greatly appreciate it.
Learn the word solitude. Embrace it. What you’re experiencing now are baby steps of that. Listen to your intuition. Let those people go. Embrace change. Even if it is uncertain or lonely.
Even though society says different, beauty is not defined by how many boys you grab. Beauty is defined by character. And you don’t lack it just because you lack male attention. The fact that boys run the other way just proves that you have an immense amount of it that they are not yet ready for. Understand that luxury items are considered luxury because everyone does not have access to them and you, my love, are a luxury.
Take initiative to educate yourself. Adults are helpful, but they too are humans trying to figure themselves out in this world. Not all advice is the best advice. Look up scholarships. Look up tuition. Look up loans. Think of how these things will affect you in the future. You know what community is best for you in supporting your educational goals. Do not let adults make you think otherwise. Many times, adults’ “advice” are them projecting their fears onto you. Thank them for their input, but do not lose sight of what’s best for you. Only you have the answer for that.
Be okay with feeling misunderstood. Not every aspect of you is meant to be explained. And girl, close your mouth! I know you speak out of excitement for your future but everyone listening does not want to see you win. There’s a beauty in every detail not being public knowledge. Also, watch who you vent to and how it is delivered. It’s easy for things to be taken offensive.
Also, you do know the reason why it feels like everyone doesn’t like you is because you’re doing something different and trailblazing in your own lane right? I’ll let you in on a secret: it only gets harder as you continue to make more strides. DO NOT turn down who you are to make them comfortable. Those who can keep up, will step up. And those who cannot, will clear a seat for someone who can. This goes for boys/dating as well.
You are doing great but I really want you to stop being so humble about your worth and honor yourself more. Please hold yourself to more value, you absolutely deserve it all.
With love,
22- year old Ny
